Saturday, December 22, 2007
the date is 23 december...
i'm sitting here alone... but i'm not sure if i want to be left alone, cuz i don't really like being alone but i want to be left alone sometimes... haha... the contradictions in my life are far too deep to be understood...
anyway, i survived OTC! yay, i thought it would never end... people look at my group and we look high and all but it was so torturous being in an entire group of butt-headed stubborn leading ladies and men... which isn't such a bad thing either... i just kept quiet and followed cuz the bickering really got to me sometimes... Angie is a lifesaver, thank God she was in my group...
i felt that i was stabbed in my most vulnerable spots, trying to hide but nothing to cover myself with and trying to run but obviously nowhere to run. I was so so exhausted cuz my brain was just running amok within itself, self-inflicted mania with no outlet of release or no known solution. I was erupting within myself but i still dragged myself through the three days and i'm so thankful that i lived...
OTC being over... now i can move on the more interesting stresses of life, christmas and new year... i just want to bang my head into a wall, so so so many things that i just don't don't don't want to do, i just want to be at home and curl up with a hot chocolate and slack and laze or something... maybe spend the whole night watching movies... i don't know... i just hope someone gives me a gun for a christmas present...
i want to wish a happy christmas to all the important people in my life, there are three kinds of christmas:
1. People christmas: a christmas spent going out enjoying yourself, meeting friends and family and doing stuff that involve lots and lots of catching up and making out.
2. Emo christmas: going to a secluded cafe to have a coffee or staying at home to watch movies when u know the entire world outside you is counting down the seconds to the very point santa is supposed to break into the atmosphere.
3. Church christmas: a christmas spent in church remembering and being respectful to the birth of the baby Jesus.
you know what, it's not fair that i have a cold cuz i've been drinking lots and lots of water.
:: izak blogged @
6:54 PM
